After sitting comfortably and leaving towards our destination, the old timer gives a long sigh staring far out the window, followed by a head movement in sign of discontent of the soul. I asked if I can help with anything:” the formative years, good sir… they have been lost to the darkness of the times” – are the words with which he started motivating his anxiety.
What do we understand by “formative years”?
It appears that the child`s formation period, when he spends the most time with the parents, gives him a direction towards learning and assuming his first values: respect, kindness, contentment. Lessons are taught as they come, they`re practiced interacting with close ones, they learn by correcting mistakes.
The ABCs of manners include basic teachings, like expressing gratitude and forming of requests using the special words ”thank you” and “please”. Just by sharing sweets or the disposition to include others in their game, the little ones inherit precious traits such as generosity and altruism. While the talent and innate abilities of some of them dazzle us with the ease to which they read a text, by the moves filled with sensitivity that accompany a song on the rhythm of a theme dance, by the voice that deserves a standing ovation in a competition, by the way that they use their arms holding the instrument in their chest giving life to a song, the “formative years” shall build the foundation of the child`s personality.
When do we attend the “school of life”?
Forced to battle the failures of grownups, some young ones learn from a tender age to deal with things independently going through the dark thicket of our existence mined with unseen dangers and living intensely on their own experience. The painful scars following a rash decision remain an indestructible memory on the painting of our traits that form our character. The cruel fight for survival pushes them to ignore the rules of the “clean game” aiming towards immediate satisfaction, not towards any sublime purpose. When making boundaries for their future home, the amnesia of previous connections leaves a mark on the dry riverbed of interacting with others. The desire to be accepted in a certain circle makes them lower their guard of initially learned lessons, believing conquering the present a unique trophy. With every year passed, the illusion of gaining absolute power through the desperate efforts of gaining supremacy demolishes the innocence of those first years of life, embodying a person that changes their moral views. Eventually, the “school of life” is the big fish eating the small fish called “formative years”
When the core of precious lessons learned in everyone`s beginning remain unpolluted by ingredients of personal experience, we become stable, trustworthy and appreciated since ancient times: Have you seen a man skillful at his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before common men.
The old man got out of the car with difficulty. His face lit up suddenly, showing gratitude for the conversation we had.
